Dear Blog Friends,
In the recent past, I’ve mentioned times of stress, tending to my mother’s needs. So many of you have offered your treasured support and encouragement. I can’t tell you how grateful I am to experience so much kindness. This morning, she passed away while I was with her. I thought I should fill in the blanks for you. Perhaps my family’s experience will resonate with some of yours….
As my mother entered old age, she began to show increasing signs of mental illness.. paranoia, anxiety and eventually psychosis. The irony is that I have a background in neuro psychology and yet, was helpless to intervene because of HIPPA and state laws. Her paranoid view of the world lead her to believe that her family had turned against her. Her thoughts were random and chaotic and her actions were mean and inflicted lots of pain. As her family, we were aware and helpless. An awful combination indeed. That was a very painful period of time for all of us as she closed the door, literally and figuratively. Our only redress was through the court system with our hope to have her declared a ‘protected person’. Most of all she needed to be protected against herself and against the people who professed to being her friends and helpers, only to take advantage of her in this very vulnerable state. We spent a torturous 1 1/2 years in the court system, before anything positive could be accomplished. There were tremendous problems there as well. To cut to the chase, about 4 months ago she began receiving the psych meds she so desperately needed. Her vision of the world was transformed, and she was once again happy to see her family. I have been able to spend a lot of time with her. It was a blessing to us both and for the rest of the family. Her physical and mental abilities had been spiraling into dementia. The past few weeks, the descent was very, very rapid. A week ago, she was rushed to the ER in a non-responsive state. They essentially brought her back to life, only to find out that there was a mass in one kidney and that there was no treatment that she could possibly tolerate. It was time for hospice care. We used a group called ‘Hospice of the Valley’ and I can hardly say enough for the caring services they provide. With compassion, they kept her as pain free as possible.
At the very end of her life, she struggled to breath, but didn’t seem to want to let go. I sat there and thought about what I should say. The thought came to me and I told her…’Dad is coming to take you with him.’ A moment or two later, her struggle ended. My parents were married for just shy of 60 years when my Dad died.
I am both sad and relieved that she has left this life. I am grateful and joyful for the whole rich experience of my own life and how we all intertwine. Life is good and there is so much richness to dip into. We rarely, if ever know how our kindnesses effect each other. Your expressions of care and concern have truly touched my heart and I thank you.
I will come and go for a little while~ taking time to reflect. There will still be some posts as I have some prepared and ready to go.
*Hugs* and blessings,